Baseball is Life: A Weak Ray of Sun

In the past month, two of the websites I write for — and I write really well, though I’m most proud of how humble I am — sent me to freelance writer Afterlife. I was greatly comforted by this, as their demands increasingly required me to act as a link bot rather than an indispensable cultural commentator on the matter of fiction. Pay satellite phones. Article articles on philosophy, symbolism, standing discussions, and everything else that doesn’t include lists of memes are dismissed as “low angle interaction.” I spent more time stuffing keywords and researching authority-boosting links than actually writing.

This week, the double dumping came into sharper focus. Buzzfeed has declared that some of its articles are now only the domain of artificial intelligence, which, as a writer, fails to alarm me; Machines can translate, but they can’t signal The Order of the Capricorn is a spiritual descendant of the aesthetic monastic communities of the Middle Ageswhich underscores the developed world’s growing 21st-century understanding of the ways functional simplification contributes to spiritual clarity—at least unless someone else points it out first.

As a writing teacher, I am very impressed Open the AI ​​ChatBot; ChatBot produces a classic five-paragraph article on command. Transitional words are very good. Spacers are always in the right place. Subject sentences already exist. ChatBot blows the doors out for 95% of top university students when it comes to basic academic writing skills.

Everyone in every possible industry is putting a ChatBot through its shareable paces to see what this precious gift of impersonation can do, and so of course I was curious as to how close I and my colleagues came to getting me out of a sports columnist job. Here, for now, it fails. Where ChatBot reveals itself is an eyebrow-raising sterile company. ChatBot is one beer away from sitting online with Bill Swerski’s Superfans. It brightly outlines different staff metrics, then mysteriously flashes a text emoji.

It also lacks the essential element of creativity, which is the simple act of pairing one thing with another. It may not seem like the two things have anything to do with each other, but these two things together, from a certain point of view, make a great point about being human. ChatBot can’t do that.

ChatBot can’t do this because ChatBot never heard that a beloved high school teacher died or felt a newborn grab one finger with a whole little hand. He never experienced the innate faith afforded by a feeble ray of sunshine on Opening Day. This, after all, is ChatBot’s soul-level poverty: It doesn’t know its opening day any more than it does on the calendar.

Now here’s where we’re witnessing a supernatural flash of metaphysics with ChatBot: ChatBot is relentlessly optimistic about the Cincinnati Reds. This is because ChatBot doesn’t have to actually watch that team. It just digests the MLB stats floating around the internet, then pins down the current year and potential current second baseman. Yes, for the most part, We’re all Rosie Reds and our Chatbot is giving us an artificial energy lunch. But he meets us with the constant hope that if maybe we stick around long enough, this storm of underwater season records will finally catch up with us.

I asked a chatbot to write an article about the Cincinnati Reds. first sentence:

The Cincinnati Reds have been a staple of Major League Baseball since their formation in 1869.

Excellent start. It’s also the only factual sentence in the entire article. Because it all starts to fall apart in the next line:

In 2023, the team remains a source of pride for the city and its fans.


One of the biggest storylines surrounding the Reds in 2023 is the steady emergence of their young talent. In recent years, the team has made a concerted effort to develop its minor league system and cultivate promising players through its farm system. This has resulted in a number of interesting young players who have made their mark on the big league club.

Would you like to know a young Cincinnati Reds player about who the ChatBot is bone Enthusiastic?

… Another player who will have a huge impact on the Reds in 2023 is the pitcher Tyler Mahley. Mahley, who was recruited by the Reds in 2013, has developed into one of the best rookies in the league. With a repertoire that includes a mid-90s fastball and devastating slider, Mahle has been a dominant force on the mound, helping lead the Reds to a number of key victories.

Tyler Mahley could really make a huge impact on the Reds in 2023 if 1) he could do it while pitching for the Twins and 2) reliably invented time travel.

Also, Tyler Mahley is 28 years old. He remembers what it was like to wake up in the morning and immediately log into your AOL profile.

What about our older players?

“…the Reds also have a number of veterans who continue to play at a high level. This includes players like Joey Votto, who remains one of the best hitters in the game, and Rizel Iglesiaswho remains one of the best running backs in the league.”

…to the angels. Then the brave.

I also hope you don’t fail to dive into the full 10 words dedicated to Joy Photo.

Do we conclude? we will.

In conclusion, the Cincinnati Reds continue to be a source of pride and excitement for the city and its fans. With a talented young core and a number of veterans, the team has the potential to be competitive in the years to come. Whether you’re a lifelong fan or newcomer to the sport, the Cincinnati Reds are a team worth keeping an eye on in 2023 and beyond.

Well, it’s definitely not all roses and Raisel Iglesias. I wondered what the ChatBot had to say about ownership of the Reds, and asked for information about who owns the keys:

The Cincinnati Reds are owned by a group led by Bob Castellini, who bought the team in 2006. Since taking over the team, Castellini has made a number of significant changes, including hiring key personnel and creating a new state. Technical training facility…

A “state of the art training facility” is the foundation for the Major League Baseball team. I don’t expect to walk into the weight room in Fenway Park and see a pile of weights jerking. It is not a plus. And it’s a requirement.

Despite these efforts, the Reds have faced some challenges in recent years, particularly with regard to performance on the field. Despite this, Castellini remains committed to building a winning team and has taken a number of key steps in recent years to bring in new talent and improve the team’s overall performance.

Included in these key moves were: negatively taunting the entire fanbase, then suggesting that it was a good idea to “get out of the fray on opening day” because Package from other teams as well.

I’ll leave you with this, reader:

In general, Bob Castellini and the ownership group of the Cincinnati Reds are widely seen as a positive force in the city and the sport. With their commitment to player development and technology, as well as their focus on delivering the best possible experience for fans, the Reds are well positioned for continued success in the years to come.

ChatBot is really useful my friends. He exists in a parallel dimension where the former Reds are still Reds, player development is Job One, and Bob Castellini is civic fun. ChatBot is the gift of our time; It is the Don Quixote of modern life, perceiving situations as they ought to be rather than the suave prostitutes, haggard farmers, and raging anarchy we already know.

In the meantime, I’ll be watching the little progress in this fellow Foto’s career with great interest.

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